Egypt was my cry for help
(as a dear friend pointed out to me the other day).
I didn’t realize I was wearing my grief when I chose my outfit as I tumbled out of bed at 3 a.m. ( and then I saw the reaction of my group to my clothing choice on the ride there. ) I’d put on black and red to wear into the King’s Chamber in the Great Pyramid at Giza at dawn during an eclipse. There are so many reasons that this would amplify difficult experiences in a very high intensity situation.
All these months later, I can see that I was carrying the collection of my own sorrow and grief into that ancient site.
And my anger.
I’d gone to Egypt to shake my fists at the gods there, to journey to a place of origin, to study them up-close because, in my opinion, there was no way there were really gods if the world had turned out this way.
I wanted to take my power back.
The King’s Chamber is a quantum ascension portal which is measured scientifically by electromagnetic properties. People have been known to vanish out of the sarcophagus in the middle of the chamber.
What I found there, after crossing such a vast desert to regain parts of myself that were lost, was a depth of personal healing that penetrated into the layers of my grief and allowed me to expose the parts of myself I’d kept underground; the key had been lost for an eternity.
The results left me humbled. Not only to the currents of energy present inside of these ancient sites and how much I learned from the energy itself but also the unifying connection of my tour group, of being with others in a very vulnerable and intimate way. I found so much of what it was to be a soft woman in a powerful position with great insight. Often I could hear the ringing of bells and giggling laughter echoing through the spirit of the temples.
I had crossed vast stretched of uninhabitable desert just to be able to shake my fists at the forces-that-be and subsequently, to be humbled time and again by what I actually found inside of myself.
Today, we’re in a time period, astrologically, when the lush divine feminine has gone into the underworld, far away from sight and sense. We have many months before she returns.
This time is much like the angry goddess that arose in me after years of feeling run-over by my life. It’s a time of shadow work, of going into the hidden parts of ourselves and understanding how we use power. Though August is a bright, sunny, potent time of year, bringing out the bold leaders inside of us, the deeper layers may feel uncomfortable and this is why.
So, what would I have done if I’d not finally demanded answers? What would I have done if I’d not stepped so far out of my comfort zone that it would take me months to regain my footing?
I’d had an experience that was truly a phenomena and what makes it so special is that natural law was my greatest ally and healer.
Within the context of nature cure, all change must have an acute expression such as anger, rage, fear, grief, fits of laughter or a physical expression such as mucus or a rash in order to clear the physical body and thus the other more subtle bodies of unwanted energy.
These acute experiences are much needed and are to be encouraged but we also need to feel safe enough in our homes and relationships to allow this kind of depth to be unearthed.
Underneath so much of the goodnesses of our lives, lives a collective sense of uneasiness with how things are going. We can follow natural law to allow ourselves to feel it fully and to purge the excess of what we’ve been carrying so as to make room to be able to hold a common ground, together, within a chaotic world.
We know each other, we recognize each other. Trust isn't easy in this day and time but we build that trust within ourselves and within the very nature who governs us.
I know what it’s like to need answers, to feel unbelievably lost and to find the way through time and again no matter how far I’ve had to go to find them.
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